Marcusmaxmus's Blog

Well. on the sixth I ended up smoking 5 smokes. Listened to my grandmother complain about how he programmed the satellite TV and what shows she missed because he was messing with it. That was the last thing I needed or wanted to deal with, it's bad enough I think about him 20 times a day and have my own issues with him. Oh well, his mom told me he made it safe to Oregon, Yay! At least that much was good, she never did reply to my text after that though. He probably told her not to. Whatever, I know that in two months he'll text me saying can you do this for me and I am going to have to say no. Not because I do not want to or because I can't do it, but because that's what he does. I love him but all he seems to do is need help if I keep saying yes I won't ever be able to move forward past his bullshit. Well that's all for now I will add more tomorrow I think.

For now life without him should be grand I say. I dropped him off at the bus depot and wow was he an ass. It started with us getting ready to leave. He asked me twice if I was ready to go. I said yeah was just waiting on him (both times), he yelled at me for not leaving right away the first time when he was still closing up his bags. Meh, after that he was giving poor directions and yelled at me for not listening to him. I told him point blank buddy you need to learn to drive and until then your directions are gonna suck ass, so don't go yelling at me for giving shitty directions. So, we get to the depot, I start to pull into the parking lot. He said why are we pulling in here?  I said well I have to wait with you till you board. He was like no your not. I said yeah I am. Your mom requested it. He got all prissy. I said you ain't got no choice your mom asked and I gave her my word, deal with it. He hasn't talked to me since, as well he put me on his fuck list on Facebook. S...

I absolutely failed yesterday. I smoked half a pack of cigarettes. I'm gonna finish the pack today and say hell with it I'm done. Screw this on and off stuff. I am a very lonely person right now, trying to figure life out. As well, I don't know what i want at all, except a most basic need....a job.

So i am thinking about going to college online. could be a very productive thing for me. i am hoping to get a degree in human resources. its gonna take awhile, probably longer then most but it should be accomplish-able in five years depending on how able i am to do the work and if i get frustrated or not.... English is gonna be my downfall. i am absolutely horrible at English classes...... ill figure it out though.

I think I am in a contest with myself to see how many friends i can piss off. Man, it isn't like i have a lot of them. Ooh well I guess. I.D.K. meh....

So far I have made it not a single smoke today. tried to help someone move today and went over there twice when they said to. They never showed, I thought that was kinda rude. The person I "love" was being an ass again today, I'm so sick of it. I mean ok, I get it I have three habits he doesn't like, I'm not about to list them sorry lol. And no they are not the greatest habits, but honestly the biggest peeve i have is that he doesn't see people for more then just their bad habits most of the time. He will never date a smoker, and i was lucky. He won't even touch a drug addict (i don't blame him). And if you drink you might as well have leprosy. Heh leave it to me to fall for the pig headed ones. :( I wish he would read these with an open mind, but as well he is still young and stupid. Though why I have to pay for that is beyond me completely. I was young and dumb but I don't think I screwed with someone like this. I honestly do not know. I love him...